The Imperfect Sonnet

Feb 3, 2008 at 2:45 PM
6 comments

THE IMPERFECT SONNET
after Philip Whalen

"The person of whom you speak is a poet."

Where is the second crystal?

She left her garret with it in her satchel

Clack of heels on Prague's cobblestones

Now I want emeralds.

In the middle of the night—

The station lit with aqua lights

The hipster waits for the exchange

As a Louie Vuitton model

As Mikhail Baryshnikov

Say nothing of his scruffy cheeks

Nothing of his hooded eyes

A precious for the shisha

An emerald shisha! From Casablanca—

Property of Moroccan ministers

The better crystal is upstairs.

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[this is good]

This intrigues me. I like your use of language. I have heard of Whalen and read only a few things of his. Is this meant as an homage or a parody of one of his poems? I like that it is nonsensical, yet filled with longing or avarice at the same time, as in the talk of emeralds. Very nice. thanks.

Lucy, who hopes you will share more about the poem, even though it stands on its own

There is actually a loose narrative in this poem that revolves around the words "exchange" and "shisha." Shisha is the Persian word for hookah...I lived with Moroccans when I lived in Munich for a year and they were so pleased when the Americans in the flat came home with a store-bought "shisha." So the poem isn't really nonsensical, it just has it's own internal sense, which you might say is somewhat pretentious, but then it is also an homage to Philip Whalen's poem of the same name, which I did reference quite a lot. You can find his poem on the internet easily, but I won't link to it here because I don't want to uncover my source completely. I'm so glad you appreciate it, Lucy--it's so rare that I find other readers to appreciate my writing.

What a treat for your Moroccan friends. I hope they read this poem. The poem summons the dim lights and cool colors of train stations and night travel. The Louis Vuitton/Gorbechev reference made me smile for somehow it makes perfect sense in the context of your poem. I just read the original poem and this is a witty re-placing of it.
In other loans, a few weeks ago I read the original John O'Hara article which is newly your teaching philosophy, "Personism," and loved it! (My studies recently transitioned from trudging critical theory to liberated study, and upon this change, the library became a treasure mart.)

You mean Frank O'Hara, dearest, and thank you for the warm response to the homage/poem. I am daily thrilled by and thankful for the introduction that you gave me to Vox.

I'm so edified that you joined, chérie, and so is a long, long list of voxers and non-voxers!

[this is good]

I immensely enjoyed your poem Renee....it has an unusual rhythm and i love your use of word...'hooded eyes', 'shisha'. all add to the atmosphere...but i dont understand why u call it a sonnet...or maybe that's why u call it an imperfect sonnet! But I enjoyed it all the same...

The Imperfect Sonnet

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